Friday 29 March 2013

Sometimes you’ve got to just let go, and other things I’ve come to know.





I always thought I was a good swimmer. Until my leg-rope broke, and the world turned upside down, and then flipped it round and round. Hair and sand and swimmers a knotted ball of twine, I barely gasped a gulp of air before the next wave came. Then another and relentlessly another, my chest got tight with panic and fright, animal instincts just screamed, reach for the light. The current dragged and more waves loomed there was nothing I could do. Spent, I gave up and then I just let go. Somewhere in that over and over I felt the rhythm of that rolling ragdoll dance and a crooked smile found itself stuck to the side of my face, plus the seaweed and red-faced gratitude as I washed up on the sand.

Here’s a list of other things I’ve come to know some of them with grace but most with a similar surrender and a certain length of time . . .

What I’ve come to know

From school I realised that your strengths can carry your weaknesses, until they grow
From painting and the whole creative process, I get every time - listen to the muse and keep going through the ‘arrgh this is horrendous!’ stage - it’s a part of the process.

From a BA in Visual Art, a piece of paper and a prize came when I did my thing and kept doing it.
From Pro Surfing I found if you immerse yourself, do something every day and hang around with people who are better than you, you’ll get good too.
From drawing cartoons at Walt Disney Studios, the most fun never makes it to the screen.
From a Post Grad in Education + Special Ed - everyone’s special.
From Twelve Step Programs I learned the grace of anonymity and the strength of principles.
From Facilitating Groups for families affected by addiction I found everyone plays a part in every story.
From painting the whole journey of Tarot over a year and a day, we are all connected and inspiration comes from everywhere, if you ask.

Through having a brother that’s ‘different’ – I know that ‘same’ is no one at all.
Through watching a sister go through drug addition, that miracles do happen and continue to.
Through watching a mother die, that hearts can break in many ways and healing can happen at any stage.

From travelling always - no matter where you go - you take yourself.
From years of esoteric study - patterns do play out and, everything can change.
From reading tarot - the truth is often not what people want
From many small business ventures it’s best to know what you want and what you are willing to do, really – then see if they match, and check the same with your partners.
From Teaching and helping others teach, watching people express from their essence shines inspiration to the world.

From Coaching & Mentoring - everyone has their answer we just need a loving space, the right question and the ability to acknowledge it.

From all the jobs for rent and food and (plane tickets round the world), there’s always so much more than you realise that you offer to the world – every day.
You are way more than your ID card tells you.

From all these years of life and learning . . . I know it’s all about love and joy and the courage to choose it - over and over.


What do you know now?

4 comments:

  1. well said! and learned a few things,and was reminded at the same time...thanks kaye
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are more than welcome Dani
    and way more than even that . . .
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Kaye
    Miss you and Magnolia, so immersed am I in work.
    Love your prose. I also have been rolled in the waves.
    I offer you a poem I wrote (it has been translated into Portuguese):

    WHAT, AM I?

    A seeker bearing tears; a ball rolling laughter.
    Who, am I?
    I am that am; a hushed voice.
    Where, am I?
    A Universe knows no bounds: but itself.
    When, am I?
    Now the waters flow, and now they stop.
    Why, am I?
    Wind scatters dust, but suddenly
    one speck is not a speck, but a seed of hope.
    How, am I?
    The singing bird asks not of its origin.
    It lives instead, each day born anew:
    A Timeless, Dawn. SC

    Stephen Cheney
    Sensei

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  4. thanks Steven
    and thank you for your poem
    reminds me of our connection
    right out to the universe and
    right here to the dust of the earth
    and all the ways in between.
    :) Kaye

    ReplyDelete